How to fire someone with dignity (and without lawsuits).

I've coached founders through more terminations than I can count. The pattern is always the same: they wait too long, they soften the message so much the person doesn't realise they've been fired, and they skip the paperwork that would have protected everyone. Then they spend the next week feeling terrible — and the team spends the next month wondering who's next.

Letting someone go well is one of the most respectful things you can do as a leader. Letting them go badly is one of the most damaging. Here's how to do it right.

The three signs you should have already acted

• You've started avoiding 1:1s with this person.
• Your other reports are doing extra work to cover for them — and have stopped complaining about it.
• You can't honestly say what they're working on this week.

Before the conversation: the four-week checklist

A termination should never be a surprise to the person being terminated. If it is, you've failed them. Walk through this checklist before scheduling the meeting.

• Written feedback has been given, in 1:1s, at least twice, with specific examples and specific expectations.
• A short performance improvement period (30–60 days) has been documented with what success looked like.
• You've talked to an employment lawyer in your jurisdiction. Once. They'll review your termination letter and severance.
• Final pay, accrued leave, equity vesting, and benefits continuation are calculated and ready.
• You've decided severance. Default: at least 2 weeks per year of tenure, even when not required. It's the cheapest legal insurance you'll ever buy.
• You've blocked 15 minutes on your calendar, in a private room, with a second person present (typically your COO or fractional CHRO).

The 15-minute conversation script

Short, clear, kind. Read it out loud once before the meeting. Do not improvise the opening line.

• Open (30 seconds): 'I have difficult news. I've decided to end your employment with us. Today is your last day. I want to walk you through what happens next.'
• Reason (60 seconds): One sentence. Not a list. 'The role has required X and we haven't been able to get there together, despite the conversations we've had over the last three months.' Do not negotiate. Do not justify.
• Logistics (5 minutes): Final pay, severance, benefits end date, equipment return, references policy. Hand them a printed letter with all of this.
• Their turn (5 minutes): Let them speak. Listen. Do not defend. 'I hear you' is a complete sentence.
• Close (90 seconds): 'I'm grateful for what you contributed. The HR transition email goes out at 4 PM today. Take the rest of the day. We'll be in touch tomorrow for handover logistics.'

The psychology: why we delay (and why it hurts everyone)

Behavioural economists call it loss aversion: the pain of firing someone feels twice as big as the gain of fixing the team. So we delay, hoping the situation will resolve itself. It almost never does. Meanwhile, your high-performers — who notice everything — start to wonder why standards apply to them but not to everyone. Bob Sutton's research on 'asshole tax' shows that one tolerated underperformer can cause three voluntary resignations within a year.

The aftermath: what most leaders forget

• Tell the team that day, before they hear it on Slack. Three sentences. No autopsy. 'X is no longer with the company as of today. We're grateful for their contributions. I'm available for questions in 1:1s.'
• Don't share the reasons. Ever. Not even with your closest co-founder. The team is watching how you talk about ex-employees — that's how they imagine you'll talk about them.
• Send a 24-hour follow-up to the person: practical only. 'Here's your final pay stub, equity paperwork, and the reference letter we discussed.' Then leave them alone.
• Debrief yourself in writing: what did I miss? What signal should I have acted on six months ago? File it. Re-read it before your next hire.

Take this home — the dignity termination checklist

• If you're avoiding 1:1s with someone, name what's actually happening this week.
• Build a default severance policy now — before you need it. Two weeks per year of tenure is a reasonable starting floor.
• Keep a 'termination kit' template ready: letter, final pay calc, benefits memo, equipment list, talking points.
• Have one employment lawyer on retainer for jurisdiction-specific review.
• Always tell the team the same day. Never share the reasons.
• Debrief every termination in writing. The next one should be easier — because the next hire should be better.